Exercises for Intimacy Improvement
- Catherine Christie

- Oct 12, 2024
- 3 min read

Intimacy is often thought of as a physical connection, but in truth, it goes much deeper. Intimacy is about feeling emotionally close, secure, and understood by your partner. In my experience as a couples therapist based in Subiaco, Perth, I’ve seen how easy it is for intimacy to take a backseat when life gets busy. Between work, kids, and daily stress, it’s common for couples to drift apart and feel a disconnect in their relationship.
The good news? Intimacy can always be rebuilt with a bit of effort and intention. Whether you're feeling a slight disconnect or a more significant distance, there are simple but powerful exercises you can start today to improve intimacy with your partner.
Here are some of my favourite exercises that you can do at home, whether you’re looking to reignite the spark or strengthen an already strong connection.
1. The 60-Second Hug
We all know that physical touch is important in relationships, but life can often make it feel like a rushed afterthought. Hugging is one of the simplest, yet most effective, ways to foster a feeling of closeness and warmth. But here's the key: it needs to be long enough to actually connect with your partner.
Exercise:
Set aside one moment each day for a 60-second hug. This may sound like a long time, but that's exactly the point. The idea is to let yourselves relax into the hug and feel each other’s presence.
As you hold each other, focus on your breathing and try to feel the tension release. This exercise is about creating a moment where both of you are fully present.
Why it works: This type of prolonged contact encourages the release of oxytocin, the hormone that helps us bond and feel emotionally connected. Plus, it sets a calm and intentional tone for the rest of your day or evening together.
2. Eye Gazing for Emotional Connection
Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect emotionally. However, in the chaos of everyday life, couples often stop really looking at each other. This exercise is designed to bring back that sense of connection.
Exercise:
Sit facing each other in a quiet, comfortable space.
Set a timer for 5 minutes (or more if you feel comfortable). Look into each other's eyes without talking or looking away.
At first, it might feel awkward, but let yourself relax into the moment. Focus on seeing your partner fully and allow yourself to feel vulnerable.
Why it works: Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to feel close to someone. It breaks down emotional walls and fosters a feeling of vulnerability, helping you connect on a deeper level without words.
3. The Appreciation List
When we’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s easy to focus on the things that irritate us or to take the good things for granted. The Appreciation List is a simple but impactful exercise that reminds both partners of what they love and appreciate about each other.
Exercise:
Each of you should take 10 minutes to write down at least 5 things you genuinely appreciate about your partner. These can be qualities you admire or small things they do that make you feel loved.
Share your lists with each other. Don’t rush through it—take time to explain why you appreciate each quality or action.
Why it works: Sharing these lists shifts the focus from the stresses of daily life to the positive qualities in your partner. It encourages gratitude, which is a powerful way to reignite emotional intimacy.
4. The Emotional Check-In
Communication is key to maintaining intimacy, but it’s not always easy to find time for deep conversations. This exercise is a simple way to keep communication open and stay emotionally connected, even during busy times.
Exercise:
Set aside 10-15 minutes at the end of each day for an emotional check-in. During this time, each partner shares one thing they’re feeling, whether it’s positive or negative, and what they need from the other.
This is not about problem-solving but simply about being heard. The goal is to listen, acknowledge, and validate each other’s feelings.
Why it works: By regularly checking in, you create a habit of emotional openness and prevent misunderstandings from building up. It helps both partners feel valued and emotionally secure.
Final Thoughts on Improving Intimacy
Intimacy is not something that happens overnight, and it requires effort from both partners to nurture it over time. These exercises are simple but powerful tools to help you and your partner reconnect emotionally and physically. The key is consistency and making time for each other, even in the middle of busy lives.
Remember, intimacy isn't just about the big gestures—it’s about the small moments of connection and presence. Whether you're rebuilding intimacy or strengthening it, these exercises will help you feel closer and more connected to your partner.
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