How to Fix Your Relationship When You’re Struggling — Couples Counselling Perth Insights for Christmas Stress
- Catherine Christie
- Dec 5
- 3 min read
Christmas is a beautiful time of year, but for many couples I support here at The Edge Counselling in Perth, it can also be one of the most emotionally challenging seasons. As a counsellor who has spent nearly a decade working with couples, I see a consistent trend every December: relationships that are already strained begin to feel even more fragile.
The financial pressure…The emotional expectations…The family dynamics…The exhaustion…It all compounds.
Even strong couples can feel the cracks — and conflicted or already-depleted couples often reach breaking point.
In this blog, I want to speak to you openly, in my own voice, as someone who has walked alongside hundreds of couples who feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or simply stuck. I also want to offer a few simple, practical tips you can use to de-escalate conflict quickly — especially during the festive season when emotions can sit very close to the surface.
Why Christmas Is So Hard on Relationships
As a counsellor in Perth, I often describe Christmas as a “pressure cooker” for couples. Every stressor that exists throughout the year becomes amplified.
1. Emotional expectations skyrocket.We’re told this is the season of joy, connection, family unity and peace. But if your relationship is tense, that expectation can feel heavy — or even guilt-inducing.
2. Financial stress intensifies.Gifts, social events, travel, school holidays, end-of-year expenses… it all adds up. Financial pressure is one of the most common triggers I see in couples therapy.
3. Family obligations resurface.Old wounds, difficult in-laws, or blended family tensions can quickly escalate conflict.
4. Fatigue lowers resilience.By December, many people feel emotionally burnt out. When we’re tired, we argue faster and repair slower.
When you combine these factors, it makes perfect sense that couples who are already struggling feel even more overwhelmed at this time of year.
You’re Not Alone — Couples Counselling Perth Is Seeing This Everywhere
I want you to know this: if you and your partner are struggling right now, it doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. It means you’re human, and you’re under pressure.
In my sessions, couples often say:
“We don’t want to fight, but everything becomes an argument.”
“We love each other, but we don’t know how to talk anymore.”
“We feel emotionally disconnected… especially around Christmas.”
These experiences are far more common than most people realise.
The good news? Conflict doesn’t mean failure — it’s simply a signal that something needs attention and support.
How to De-Escalate an Argument Quickly (My Top Tips)
These are strategies I use daily with the couples I support, and they’re incredibly effective in reducing heat and restoring calm.
1. Step Away — Briefly
If emotions are high, continuing the conversation guarantees damage.Say something like:“I want to talk about this, but I’m too activated right now. Let’s pause for 10 minutes.”
A pause is not avoidance — it’s regulation.
2. Change Your Body, Not Just Your Words
Slow your breathing. Drop your shoulders.Your nervous system responds instantly to body cues, and arguments soften when one person physiologically shifts.
3. Use a Repair Attempt
This is Gottman-based work at its best.A repair attempt can be as simple as:“I don’t want to fight with you.”or“Can we start again?”
It interrupts the spiral before it becomes destructive.
4. State Your Feelings, Not Your Accusations
Instead of:“You never help.”Try:“I feel overwhelmed and would love some support.”
Accusations create defensiveness. Feelings invite connection.
5. Choose One Issue Only
Christmas arguments often become a dumping ground for every unresolved issue.Stay with one. Slowly. Kindly.
There Is Hope — And Help Is Available
If this Christmas season is feeling heavy or uncertain, please know you don’t have to navigate it alone. Couples Counselling Perth at The Edge Counselling offers a warm, evidence-based, solution-focused approach designed to help you reconnect, communicate better, and rebuild your emotional bond — even if things feel fragile right now.
Sometimes one structured session is enough to create a breakthrough.Sometimes a deeper, guided process is needed.
Either way, reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure — and it may be the greatest gift you give yourselves this Christmas, or the most meaningful New Year’s investment into a calmer, happier home life all year round. Here, you’ll receive practical skills and evidence-based tools for real change. We all need relationship education. Every single one of us.
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