It Takes Two to Tango! Couples Counselling Perth

By Catherine, Author, Couples Counsellor & Relationship Coach – The Edge Counselling, Perth

Hello again readers....

When it comes to relationships, there’s one truth I’ve learned after years of working with couples from all walks of life — it takes two to tango! Whether it’s dancing, arguing, rebuilding trust, or finding your way back to intimacy, couples counselling only works when both partners lean in.

One person doing all the heavy lifting, while the other sits on the sidelines with crossed arms, is like trying to dance with someone whose feet are glued to the floor. No matter how skilled, empathetic, or experienced your counsellor is (and yes, I’ve been around the relationship block a few times!), healing the bond requires participation from both sides.

When Only One Partner Tries

I often meet people who come in full of hope and determination, ready to put in the work — while their partner has been “voluntold” to attend. And while that’s a perfectly normal starting point, the truth is, lasting change happens when both parties start rowing in the same direction.

Couples counselling isn’t about blame or finger-pointing. It’s about rediscovering your rhythm, learning to communicate in ways that don’t trigger defensiveness, and creating a safe space where both partners feel heard and valued. When one person refuses to engage, the process stalls — like trying to drive a car with one flat tyre. You can still move, but it’s a wobbly, uncomfortable ride and eventually, you’ll need to stop and fix it.

Why Every Couple Needs a “Top-Up”

Here’s a fun fact that often surprises people: research shows that even healthy, happy couples fall into unhelpful patterns every few years. Life gets busy. Careers, kids, health, and everyday stress can take over. Before you know it, you’re talking logistics instead of love — “Who’s picking up the kids?” replaces “How are you feeling about us lately?”

That’s why I often suggest a relationship check-in session every year or two, even for couples doing well. Think of it like a service for your relationship — you wouldn’t wait until your car engine seizes before booking it in for maintenance! A session or two can help you recalibrate, realign, and refresh your emotional connection.

In fact, some of my longest-term clients are couples who “graduated” from therapy years ago but pop back in occasionally for a tune-up. They say it keeps them grounded, connected, and aware of the little habits that can sneak in and quietly erode the spark.

A Little Humour Goes a Long Way

Many couples tell me I have a delightfully funny way of putting things. My usual response? Humour is essential in healing — and it also denotes high intelligence! (Don’t take my word for it — Shakespeare said, “It takes the wise man to play the fool"---and make others laugh.”)

Laughter is the best medicine, especially when things feel tense. It lightens the load, breaks down defences, and reminds partners that even in hard times, they can still laugh with each other instead of at each other.

When a couple laughs together in session — even about the serious stuff — I know they’ve turned a corner. Because laughter means connection, and connection means hope.

The Bottom Line

Couples counselling isn’t about deciding who’s right or wrong. It’s about rediscovering the us that got lost along the way. It’s about finding a safe space to talk, laugh, cry, and rebuild — together.

So if you’ve been thinking about it, or if things have started to feel a little off-track, don’t wait until you’re in crisis. Invest in your relationship now. A few sessions can make a world of difference — whether you’re reigniting the flame, learning new communication tools, or simply reconnecting after a tough patch.

Because at the end of the day, great relationships don’t just happen — they’re created, maintained, and nurtured. And yes, they take two to tango!

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